续写10周背30篇-学生版.docx

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1、10周背下30段续写名场面换位移情文本背诵注意点：1 .关注短语和结构用法及使用场景；2 .关注上下文情节衔接，及语言层次；3 .在后续写作中训练中，多次运用，已达到“浑然天成，熟练运用”的效果；4 .文本需要多次反复背诵，利用早读或者晚自习的时间。不要一遍过，切记：反复多次复习，直至可以熟练背诵，并且将句子和短语熟练用在作文训练中。第一周01Whenwewerestandingbackstage,IIerVOUSlleSS/tensioncamefloodingoverme.（情绪做主语）Icouldfeelmyheartinmymouthwhenmynamewascalled.WhileI

2、waswalkingontothestage,Icouldfeelmypalmssweating,heartbeatracinguncontrollably.（独立主格）However,thehallDaCkedwith（IudiCnCemademeevenmorenervous.（情绪加深：站在台上看到观众后，让我觉得更加紧张）Myheartbeatwildlyandmylegstrembled.Withbutterfliesinmystomach.Ibreatheddeeply.IstoodtheresonervouslythatIfeltmythroattight,wonderingwh

3、attodonext.Therefore,Ireachedtograbherhand,onlytofindherfreezingfingerssweatingandtrembling.（Onlytodo表出乎意料的结果）【赏析】本段文字的侧重在于“紧张”情绪的多种描写，首先可以为同学们提供丰富的语料素材；其次，这段话很好地体现出了：“情绪描写层次感”这个概念。在描写情绪时，同学们很容易陷入“重复表达”的怪圈，即“同样的表达”重复说。而本段中However,thehallpackedwithaudiencemademeevenmorenervous.这句话则很好得衔接了前后的关系，把情绪从在后台

4、的“紧张”到站在“台前”的“更加紧张”，进行了非常好的层次过度。从而把一段“紧张的情绪”写得生动可感。02Onthejourneytothelake,awideexcitementtookholdOfMom.（情绪做主语的现象）Mominsistedthat（此处省略了should,insist的虚拟语气用法）wegocampinginthenextvillage,hereyesglittering/twinklingwithexcitement.（独立主格，眼睛闪光）Whenwearrivedatthecampingplace,Momcouldntwaittozoomoutandexcite

5、dlyurgedustoputupthetent.Then,Momwalkedtowardsthelake,andthencameanexcitedscream/andthencameascreamofexcitement（倒装结构）.Enjoyingthebeautifulview,Momcouldhardlycontainherexcitement.Certainly,asitwasthefirsttimethatwehadhelpedfathercookfoodoutdoors,mybrotherandIalsofeltthrilled.Breathinginthefreshairand

6、smellingthedeliciousfood,wejumpedupanddownwithexcitement.【赏析】本段侧重描写家人兴奋开心的情绪。本段大家可以关注“互动”描写，妈妈和孩子们之间的互动动作支撑起来整段话的核心情节。妈妈要求孩子们搭帐篷等。其中这几个高级结构需要大家重点积累：独立主格结构：hereyesglittering/twinklingwithexcitement.倒装结构：thencameanexcitedscreamo031.ookingatAnne,sfacewetwithtears,Ibegantofeelregretfulandguilty.Suddenly

7、,Anneletoutacryofregret,Tmsosilly.ThenshedashedoutbeforeIcouldsayaword,leavingmedumbwithdeepregret.Ifrozethere,withregretfultearsinmyeyes.IfonlyIhadnotquarreledwithAnne!（虚拟语气：要是就好了，该句型多用于表达“后悔悔恨”的情绪）Finally,withguiltandregretflowinginmymind（with的复合结构）,IrushedouttoapologizetoAnne.【赏析】本段侧重描写主人公悔恨和愧疚的情

8、绪。除了常见的羞愧相关的动作描写，这段话中的“ifOnly”表达“要是就好了”的意思，为虚拟语气的常用结构。该句型常用语“悔恨、懊丧”的情绪表达，例句如下1 .“要是我当初听取了妈妈的建议该多好！“小女孩低声对自己说。“IfonlyIhadlistenedtomymothersadvice!thelittlegirlwhisperedtoherself.2 .要是她没有把手机留在汤姆的包里就好了。IfonlyshehadnotlefthermobilephoneinthatbagwithTom.第二周04Asthetwinslookedaroundthemindisappointment,th

9、eirfatherappeared.Atthesightofthemessandtheexpressionsofdismayontheirfaces,heimmediatelyrealizedWhaIIheyWereUDto.Needanyhelp?”fathergentlyinquired,smilinglylookingatthetwins.WhOfeltdiscouragedatbeingfoundscrewingthingsup.Atthis,thetwinscheeredupandrolleduptheirsleevestocleanthestovebeforetheylearned

10、tofrythebreadfollowingtheirfathersinstructions.SooncamethedelicioussmellofFrenchtoastandchickenporridge,atwhichthetwinsfeltagreatsenseofachievement.Witheverythingsettled（解决了），fatherleftthekitchen,promisingtokeeptheirsecret.【赏析】本段核心是父亲和孩子间的互动，以及孩子的态度转变。本段的动作语料丰富，看、说、手上动作和心理活动都很充分。其次，本段中孩子情绪的转变是主线。从一开

11、始被父亲发现的“担心被责备”，到听到父亲的支持后，瞬间变得“兴奋”，配合的动作从“stammeredouttheirplan,hisfaceflushingwithembarrassment,到“cheeredupandrolleduptheirsleevesw,这一点体现了“避免动作泛化”的原则。05WhenIapproachedthehouse,abigleafytreecameintoviewatsomedistance.Iglancedbackovermyshouldertomakesurethatnoonewasfollowingme（这个动作体现出小心翼翼的样子）.Seeingno

12、otherpeoplenoticeme,IplacedtheChristmaspresentdownandpounded（敲）thedoorbell.Afterthat,Ihidquicklybehindthebigtreeandpeepedoutatthedoor.WhenJamescameoutandspottedthebox,hiseyeswidenedinsurprise.Hiseyesfellonthewarmovercoat.Thenhejumpedup,eyestwinklingasherantocallhismother.【赏析】本段主要描写“秘密的”善意举动；本段的构思比较好

13、，很好得通过动作细节展开来描写主人公小心JI具的样子。同时用眼睛的三种不同表现手段（hiseyeswidenedinsurprise；Hiseyesfellon.;eyestwinkling）,表达了对方的惊喜。06Whensheheardthenewsthatshefailedtowinaprize,herheartsank.Shebitherlowerlipwithsadnessfillingherheart.Inanunpleasantmood/Inlowspirits,shedraggedherheavylegsbackhome,tiredout.Onenteringherbedroo

14、m,shefeltthatsadnesscameinwaves.Then,shethrewherselfdownontothebed,andcouldnthelpcryingbitterly.Duringfollowingdays,shefeltlikeshewasfloatinginanoceanofsadness,notwantingtodoanything.【赏析】本段内容侧重描写“失落、伤心的情绪，通过“心理”和动作来集中展示主人公的情绪，例如：bitherlowerlip；draggedherheavylegs；threwherselfdownontothebed；cryingbit

15、terly；floatinginanoceanofsadness.第三周07Joefinallyreachedthecouple.Catchingtherope.heyelledatthetopofhislungs.HavingreceivedJoe,smessage,CharlieandJanetwistedtheirfiguresandclutchedtheropetightly.Together,threeofthemswamagainstthetorrentalongtheropeandfinallymadeittothebank.AsJoehauledthecouplefromthe

16、flood,thebreathlessJanewastoomovedtoutterasingleword.OnlyCharlieheldJoeshandstightlyandsputteredwithachokingtone,Thank.you.,you.kindstranger,without.yourhelp,JaneandIwouldhavebeen.drownedtodeath.Joeshruggedoffandsaidanyoneathisplacewouldhavedonethesamething.Indeed,whatanarrowescapetheyhadandwhatagoodSamaritanJoeis!【赏析】本段采取了“顺序描写”，以“救人上岸”为“分界”，前半段为“救人场景”，后半段为“感