读后续写：挽救中风的老太太.docx

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1、读后续写：挽救中风的老太太题目：1.ocatedinMuskegonHeights,Michigan,EdgewoodElementarySchoolhassetupacrisisresponsesystemthatgoessmoothlythere.Ithasdirectconnectionwithagenciessuchashospitals,thepolicestation.Manyteacherstherehavegiventheirpersonalphonenumberstostudentsandfamiliesincasetheyneedextrahelpaswell.There,

2、snodoubtthattheprimaryschoolisfamousforitsquicknessinemergencyresponse.InthemidstoftheCOVID-19pandemic,JuliaSmithbeganwhatwasonlyhersecondyearasafirstgradeteacherinavirtualclassroomattheschool.OneSeptemberafternoonafewweeksintotheschool,shereceivedacallfromMaryWhite,whowashavingtechnicaldifficulties

3、withhergranddaughterstoolsforonlinelearning.JuliaimmediatelyknewsomethingwaswrongwithMary.Thetwowomenhadspokennumeroustimesbefore,butJuliahadneverheardthegrandmothersoundquitelikethis.HerwordswereinsuchdisorderthatJuliacouldbarelyunderstandher,thoughshewasabletomakeoutthatMaryhadfallenfourtimesthatd

4、ay.Wasshegoingtohaveastroke（中风）?Juliawondered.Juliacalledherprincipal,CharlieGreen,tellinghimherconcern.FromJulia,GreenknewthatMary,stwograndchildren,agedfourandsix,wereprobablyhomealonewithher-thekids,parentswerekilledinatrafficaccidentseveralyearsagoandnowshewastheirprimaryguardian.Greenassuredher

5、thathewouldcallandcheckonMaryhimself.YetJuliastillfeltworried,soshegrabbedthehandbag,rushingout.JustlikeJulia,GreencouldbarelyunderstandMary,buthewasabletomakeouttheword“Kids”.Itcalleduphismemoriesofhisownfather,whohadsufferedastroke.Greenstillvividlyrememberedthesymptoms-suddenheadaches,confusion,d

6、ifferentvision,difficultyspeakingandunexpectedfalls-thathisfatherhadexperienced.nMarymustbehavingastroke/Greenthoughttohimself.HerealizeditWaSanemergencyWhelIGreenandtheOtherhvoteachersreachedthefamilyShomeIeSSthantenminuteslater,SeeirIgWhatWaShappening,theySighedinrelief”审题：HerealizeditNaSanemergen

7、cy.矛盾冲突+解决=情节走向（螺旋式。r渐进式？）所以Pl必须解决部分的问题。设计：什么场景？哪些人物？采取了什么措施？得到了什么样的回应？解决了哪部分问题？WhenGreenandtheOthertwoteachersreachedthefamilyshomeIeSSthantenminutesIatenSeeingWhatWaShappening,theySighedinrelief.设计：什么场景？哪些人物？最后问题得到了解决吗？如何解决的？怎么使用伏笔？如何安排好前文中各个人物的行为和结局？结尾怎么与前文的首段呼应？研读范文：Greenrealizeditwasanemergency

8、.（担心/所想）Marymightfaintatanytime.Ifshecouldntreceivetimelyhelp,shewouldsufferseverebraindamage,orevendie,whichwoulddefinitelyscarehertwograndchildren.（行动/所做）Concernedthatshewasinsuchacriticalsituationwhereeveryminutecountedforherlife,heimmediatelycalledthehospitaltofindheranambulance.（得到反应）Afterbeing

9、informedofwhatwasgoingon,twoteachersdroppedeverythingwithoutdelay,climbedintoGreenscarandsetoff.WhenGreenandtheothertwoteachersreachedthefamilyshomelessthantenminuteslater,seeingwhatwashappening,theysighedinrelief.（所看）Everythingwaswellinorder.（反应）ThedoctorsweregivingfirstaidtoMary,pressingonherchest

10、.（反应）Thetwokidslookedvisiblyshaken,closetotears.（反应）BesidethemstoodJulia,holdingtheminherarmsandcomfortingthem.（评价）Fortunatelyenough,thequickresponsefromJuliaandGreensavedMary,slife.（矛盾解决）Whenshecametoherself,shewasliftedtotheambulanceandrushedtothehospital.Everybody,sfacebrightenedupastheambulancef

11、adedaway.（呼应首段Duetotheemergencyresponsesystemandtheloveofthosecommittedteachers,alltheeffortswereworthit.）本次写作心得：先“读”，后“写北读时，要划出每一段的人物，概括主要情节，续写时将其作为伏笔。续写的首句，规定场景和主人公视角。可能两段为两个不同场景。续写，应安排好前文所有人物。结尾，最好与原文首段呼应。结尾，必须解决了主人公需解决的问题（人身安全、学习/工作/生活的困难、狭隘或错误的认知等）但无需添加人物或横生枝节。补充：读信息：Pl学校建立了快速的紧急反应系统（伏笔，下文必须用到）P2-3Julia老师发现Mary有中风前兆（语言组织混乱disorder,多次摔跤）（并非网络信号不好，语音断断续续）P4Green校长接到汇报，保证等会亲自去她家里查看。但JUlia依然担心，认为刻不容缓，她抓起包，冲了出去（所以她是最早行动起来帮助的人）。P5Green校长确认Mary一定快要中风，因为他过世的父亲之前就有这样的症状（Mary中风基本可以确定是事实，而不是虚惊，也只有这样，前文的种种铺垫才有必要）