Desperate Housewives《绝望的主妇》第二季第十二集完整中英文对照剧本.docx

前情提要Previouslyon.我就要死了死之前我要知道mgonnadie,anddliketoknow我女儿身上究竟发生了什么whathappenedtomydaughterbeforeIdo.在柴藤郡有旧的仇恨WhenitcomestoWisteria1.ane,thereareoldcrimes.新的罪孽Newcrimes.天一黑就把尸体弄走Assoonasitgetsdark,wegetridofthatbody.有些罪恶Andcrimesthatarehappening.就发生在光天化日之下Rightundereveryone'snose.我觉得是艾波怀特家干的mthinkingit'stheapplewhites.吉姆哈文森知道Jimhalversonwasaware自己没女人缘thathehadlittletoofferawoman.他既不富有也不风趣英俊Hewasneitherrich,norsmart,norhandsome.你是吉姆吗?苏姗.梅尔AreyouJim?mSusanMayer.哦Oh.所以当他的朋友把他介绍给Sowhenhisfriendsethimuponablinddate美丽的陌生人时withabeautifulstranger.你比尼基说得漂亮多了Wow,you'resomuchhotterthanNikkisaidyou'dbe.你几岁？Howoldareyou?你认为呢？HowolddoyouthinkIam?吉姆试图幽默但犯了巨大的错误)immadethetragicdecisiontotrytobefunny.肯定不超过50Notadayover50.我们找个地方坐下吧Whydon'twegetourtable?不你看那很有趣Well,no,see,thatwasfunny,你肯定不超过50becauseyou'resoobviouslynot50.所以我说50那很好笑That'swhyIsaid50,causeit'sabsurd.吉姆竭尽全力试图让苏姗发笑JimdideverythinghecouldtogetSusanMayertolaugh.他尝试了种族歧视的笑话Hetriedracialhumor.猜日本人儿时去看牙医？SoguesswhattimeChinesepeoplegotothedentist?2:302:30.明白?牙-疼（两者发音相似）Uh,getit?"Tooth-hurty?',2:30Tooth-hurty.我喜欢这个笑话1lovethat.他尝试r更大胆的Hetriedtobeengaginglyrisque.直肠？几乎杀死了他Rectum?Damnnearkilledhim!知道rectum（直肠）这个词的意思吧？Uh,youknowwhatarectumis,right?他也尝试r温和的Heeventriedgentleteasing.如果把你和纳粹党徒相比No,no,yousee,bycomparingyoutoaNazi,我得出的结论是你不是纳粹,Iwasmakingthepointthatyou,resonotaNazi.喜欢You'relikethe.当吉姆认为AndjustwhenJimthought这次约会不能再糟时thedatecouldn'tgetanyworse.啊Oh!Oh!哦Ow!Oh.更糟的发生了Itdid.吉姆我要你向上看Okay,Jim,Ineedyoutolookup.向下Anddown.很好怎么撞到的？Allright,so,howdidthishappen?是意外Itwasanaccident.我不那公认为Oh,Idon'tknowaboutthat.在有些文化里撞头是交♥配♥前的仪式Insomecultureshead-buttingisamatingritual.是的Yeah.麦克格雷迪医生能和你说句话吗？关于我的头Dr.Mccready,canItalktoyouaboutmyhead?不能打草稿Awayfrom.Thedraft?叫我罗恩医生别人都那么叫Yeah,youcancallmeDr.Ron.Everyonedoes.罗恩医生Uh,Dr.Ron.我要你假装我的头很严重Ineedyoutopretendthere,ssomethingwrongwithme今晚需要住院观察什么？andadmitmeforthenight.msorry?他是我这辈子约会过最糟糕的男人Thisistheworstdate1haveeverbeenoninmylife.那个人是世界最无聊讨厌无礼的男人Thatmanisthemostobnoxious,offensive,annoyinghumanbeing.你可能觉得我就快疯rAndyou'relookingatmelikemcrazyrightnow,如果再跟他呆上一秒钟我真的会疯but1willbeif1spendonemoresecondwithhim.请你帮帮我做些什么Soyougottahelpme.Yougottadosomething.有关我的精神健康精神健康！It,smymentalhealth.Mymentalhealth!请你发誓Youtookanoath.放开我的领子好吗？Couldyouletgoofmylapel,please?抱歉Oh,sorry.对你的糟糕约会我很抱歉Um,listen,msorryyourdate'snotgoingwell.但我不能这么做ButIcan'tadmityou,Susan.好吧好吧Right.Right.吉姆我们检杳下反射系统Jim,let's,uh,let'stakealookatthosereflexes.好医生我有个笑话Okay,Igotajokeforyou,doctor.给兔子做包皮环切最正确的方法是什么？What'sthecorrectmedicaltermforthecircumcisionofarabbit?切兔Harecut.我不总是那么Idon't.Ialways.吉姆我得让你在这里多呆一会做些检查Jim,mgonnaneedtokeepyouhereforawhile,真的吗?我runsometests.Really?I.是啊我还有点担心你头上的伤Yeah,mstillworriedaboutthatbumponyourheadhere.0w!那伤还That'sstill.苏姗你没事可以走了And,Susan,you'regoodtogo.虽然只有一瞬间Andthoughitonlylastedamoment,吉姆捕捉到他约会对像和医生Jimcaughtthelookthatpassed脸上的表情betweenhisdate.Andhisdoctor.非常感谢罗恩医生Thankyousomuch,Dr.Ron.他突然明白Andhesuddenlygotthefeeling自己才是最大的笑话thejokewasonhim.一年一度的献血活动是柴藤郡的传统TheannualblooddrivewasatraditiononWisteria1.ane.大多数居民来此是为了促进健康和生活质量Mostresidentscametohelppromotehealthandwell-being,但我的朋友们有其它的理由butmyfriendsturnedupforadifferentreason.他们越来越担心Theyweregrowingincreasinglyconcerned社区正被一种thattheirstreetwasinfected威险的疾病威胁withadangerouskindofsickness.他们互相讨论Andtheycametoconsultwithoneanother解决的方法aboutapossiblecure.太好了她发现我在看她Oh,great,shecaughtmestaring.你们没注意到贝蒂变得很友好吗HaveyouguysnoticedhowfriendlyBetty'sbeen自从尸体在她家门口被发现sincethatbodywasfoundinfrontofherhouse?我不信任友好的女人Idon'ttrustfriendlywomen.没关系他们也不信任你That'sokay.Theydon'ttrustyou,either.我知道那两个人Ijustknowthosetwo肯定和那具尸体有关havesomethingtodowiththatdeadbody.我们都不知道他是谁Doweevenknowwhoheis?报上说警方不肯透露细节Well,thepapersaidthepolicearewithholdingthedetails.布里也许你可以打个电♥话♥Bree,maybeyoushouldcallinafavor给那个侦探让他帮忙查一下fromyourpolicedetectivepal,havehimpokearound.这主意不错你还能让他That'sagreatidea.Youcouldhavehimdo杳杳艾波怀特家的情况abackgroundcheckontheapplewhites.我不认为我能做得到Idon'tthinkIcandothat.为什么?你说过他不错Whynot?Yousaidhewasnice.他不怀疑我是杀死莱克斯的凶手Well,oncehestoppedsuspectingmeOfmurderingRex是不错hewasdelightful,但我几乎不认识他but,um.Idon'treallyknowhim.总得有人做些什么Well,somebodyhastodosomething,我开始失眠了'causemlosingsleep.贝蒂!马修！Betty!Matthew.Hi.大家好Hello,everybody.苏姗有人告诉我你快生日了Susan,alittlebirdietoldmeyou'rehavingabirthdaysoon.我们应该出去庆祝一下Weshouldallgooutandcelebrate.太好了Super.你计划好了？Soundslikeaplan.算我一个Countmein.再见Bye.再见Seeya.为什么你突然变成所有人的好朋友了？Sowhyareyoueverybody'sbestfriendallofasudden?如果有时候你得装得像个好邻居Iftherewaseveratimetobeneighborly,就是现在thisisit.继续住在这里太蠢了他